Damsels In Distress

In a part I cut out of the revised ANESthetized, I wondered why heroes in Nintendo games were always rescuing their girlfriends.  Not every game followed this conceit, of course, even when the heroes were rescuing girls.  Princess Toadstool was not Mario’s girlfriend as far as I know, nor was Zelda Link’s girlfriend.  But lots of games did.  Here are a few of the many games in which the heroes had to rescue their girlfriends:


Kung Fu – Thomas saves Sylvia


River City Ransom – Alex saves Cyndi

Double Dragon – Billy and Jimmy save Miriam

Adventures of Lolo – Lolo saves Lala

These are just a few of the hero-saves-girlfriend games that came to mind.  And I really don’t have any problem with this conceit.  I do have to wonder, though, why nobody in Nintendo-land was ever married.  Why weren’t they ever saving their wives?