When Animals Attack

In a part I cut out of the revised ANESthetized, I wondered about why there were so many games in which the hero was attacked by animals.  There were many of these games, but a few really stand out:

The guy who posted this video did me a favor by numbering the attacking eagles in Ninja Gaiden.  There are also attacking jaguars here as well.

If I understand correctly, everything that attacks in Metroid other than the bosses is an animal.  I likewise commented about this in a part I cut out of the Metroid section of the revised ANESthetized.  Were these animals supposed to be the pirates?  If not, why were they attacking?  Nintendo fixed this in Super Metroid and other sequels by adding actually humanoid pirates, but it remains the one (and only) thing I dislike about this game.  Now that I think of it, you could probably add Zelda here as well.  You could almost add Super Mario Bros. here, but I had the distinct impression that all the attackers in that game were minions of King Koopa.

Rambo.  This was the first time I noticed the animal attacking phenomenon.  Jump to 2:22 to see it in all its “glory”.

Predator.  Jump to 1:04 to see the scorpions attack.

And there are many more beyond these.  And while I really hate to nitpick the NES games that gave me so much joy, I had to admit that this is something I just can’t understand.  Yeah, you need a constant stream of things for the video game hero to kill.  But are these really worthy adversaries for Rambo, Dutch, Ryu, and Samus?  Isn’t it a tragedy when these great warriors are brought down by vermin?  I think so.

Damsels In Distress

In a part I cut out of the revised ANESthetized, I wondered why heroes in Nintendo games were always rescuing their girlfriends.  Not every game followed this conceit, of course, even when the heroes were rescuing girls.  Princess Toadstool was not Mario’s girlfriend as far as I know, nor was Zelda Link’s girlfriend.  But lots of games did.  Here are a few of the many games in which the heroes had to rescue their girlfriends:


Kung Fu – Thomas saves Sylvia


River City Ransom – Alex saves Cyndi

Double Dragon – Billy and Jimmy save Miriam

Adventures of Lolo – Lolo saves Lala

These are just a few of the hero-saves-girlfriend games that came to mind.  And I really don’t have any problem with this conceit.  I do have to wonder, though, why nobody in Nintendo-land was ever married.  Why weren’t they ever saving their wives?

More NES Commercials

I posted a couple of early NES commercials that influenced my decision to “ask for a Nintendo for Christmas” in the enhanced version of ANESthetized‘s intro. Here are a few more that I had seen back then.

And then there’s this one. I never saw it in the 80s, and it’s a good thing I didn’t. It might have scared me off the Nintendo!